Relax

Have spent night reading Tiger Beatdown and started reading about the virginity industry, hymens and sex-ed. Hence am angry.

I was in Kent, England last autumn and got the chance to visit Chatham. Because of some sort of special subsidiary system (that my friend explained to me but which I’ve forgotten completly) a lot of young parents live there. Seriously, every other person who walked passed me was a) pushing a stroller and b) younger than me.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. Everyone chooses if and when they have children. But at the same time a lot of criticue was directed towards sex-ed in British schools. There, it seemed, kids still got to hear that they should abstain from having sex (Abstinence-programs are at least still reigning in the US, even though there was an almost-shift in this policy recently).

I don’t really know anything about how they teach sex-ed in Britain, but I know a bit what it can be like in Finland. At least when I worked for a school student union a lot of people said that they only talked about STD’s and contraception in sex-ed.

No-one I’ve talked to has experiences of hearing that sex is a good thing. In school, that is. There’s some talk about the importance of being ready. This is all good and well, but there are teachers who still talk about virginity being The Ultimate Treause. I don’t get is why a girl’s virginity still has to be so… angst-ridden. I don’t accept that there are a lot of people who feel enourmous pressure with getting rid of this Ultimate Treasure. I don’t accept that a lot of people feel very uncomfortable about sex, partly because all they hear in school is that you can get scary diseases and all they hear in the media is that everyone does it. And then there’s porn, of course.

Sady Doyle says it pretty well here:

Like, there are so many risks to sex — AIDS, all the other terrifying illnesses, etc — that delaying sex can feel, really, like the best of all possible options. And also, there are other risks of sex If You Are A Lady, which include: Getting Knocked Up (I would basically consider this to be a terrible illness, in my current circumstance) and Getting Called a Slut. But here is the magic thing: All of these things can happen to you EVEN if you are not a virgin! And I feel like the emphasis on virginity, or the lack thereof, encourages everyone to place the emphasis on this ONE sexual encounter, your FIRST (and hopefully not last), instead of being like: Sex! You’re going to be doing this eventually! Here’s a realistic risk evaluation!

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One Response

  1. […] episodes about virginity and sex (This has a lot to do with my problems with, as I wrote earlier, The Ultimate Treasure). On the other hand, doesn’t this contribute to the […]

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