Duktig flicka

Got my first assignment back a few weeks ago.

When I saw my mark it was like I was split into two different people. One took it calmly and thought the mark was all right. The other went through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.

Actually, she might still not have accepted it. See, this person does better. Harder, better, faster, stronger.

This person has always gotten top marks in school. This person hands in her assignments on time and studies for her exams. This person is friendly, obliging, humble, hard-working and ready to help. In primary school, this person got to sit between loud, rowdy people (read: boys) and act as a buffer. Because that’s what good people (read: girls) are for.

I’ve tried to destroy her many times, the person that feels pressure to do well because that is what is expected of her. I do not know who she thinks expects this, because it certainly is not her family.

In Swedish this person is called a duktig flicka. I haven’t figured out a good translation of the word duktig. I guess it is something in the lines of good, diligent, overachieving.

I’ve gotten over most of it and become more realistic about how well I have to perform. It is still there, though, the pressure to do well academically, socially, professionally. To be fitter, happier, more productive.

It’s not all about pressure, of course. There is another side to it. I want to do well because that leads to good things. I’m glad I studied hard and got into a good university, for instance.

I’m not so glad that so many people hate the good girls that do well. I notice this especially in journalism. I have one teacher at my home university who more or less told me that good girls do not make good journalists. My mission is to prove him wrong. Good girls are talented, smart and dedicated.

Because on some level being a good girl has become a dirty word. Everywhere people keep repeating that it’s okay not to be overachieving all the time. It’s not good that so many feel pressure to perform well in everything constantly. But I am diligent, hard-working, ambitious. Damn right I am.


4 Responses

  1. “Mum! I’ve failed my exams.

    Disaster? It’s an achievement.”

    “Good marks will not secure you an interesting life.
    Your imagination will.”

    Citat från en bok jag fått av dej.
    H. en annan duktig flicka

  2. Otroligt bra sagt!

  3. Exakt! Mitt i prick… Man måste kanske bara hitta nånslags balans. Men sen ska vi visa dem, attans. :/ :S 😛 🙂

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