On eating food, stuff you like, as much as you want.

The past year or so, I’ve thought about food a lot. I’ve eaten it, cooked it, bought it, read about it, talked about it and above all thought about it a shitload, to be honest. It started about two years ago with me realising that I weigh more than I did when I was 16 and decided it was a good idea to try to aim to weigh that much again.

I have realised that I’ve come a long way since then. Granted, I still talk about food and nutrition with my friends more than they care to pretend to be interested in. In November, I started reading about raw food and tried it (well, kind of) for a while (for me, it started with reading this post in a Finnish blog). I bought expensive seaweed and got married to my blender. I got a bit obsessed about it, actually. The food was supposed to make me feel really good. What I didn’t realise was that the food I ate previously didn’t make me feel bad, quite the contrary.

After all that, I remembered the awesome Fat Nutritionist and re-read her thoughts on healthy eating: Eat food. Stuff you like. As much as you want (a jab at Michael Pollan, who does say some very interesting things also).

So after a month or so I baked cinnamon rolls – and ate four of them right then, right there. Wuaah! Sugar! Wheat! Butter! Toxic cinnamon! But guess what? They tasted amazing, and nothing happened. I did not die – quite the contrary: I felt great. I also felt a little bit silly about my food obsession. All this time I had convinced myself that it was all about getting ‘healthier’, when it, in the back of my mind, was about getting thinner, too. It’s not only a disturbing thought because there is nothing wrong with my body, but because a lot of the links between health and weight are skewed, to say the least.

So now, when the instructor at my gym yells at me to do a move harder because it will make my ‘arse look good’, I get pissed off. I want to go to the gym to feel better, to get fitter and healthier. I’ve messed up my relationship with my body quite enough on my own.

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